Not My Life

I keep wandering around in my skin, wondering if this is truly my life.  I am both loved beyond measure...far more than I have ever been loved before...and hated far more than I have ever been hated before.  I'm not sure if this is how it was all supposed to turn out, but I know that God has his hand in every single thing.  And, although I feel as if I lose sight of him from time to time, I know he's lingering ever closer to my side.

I am infinitely blessed by friends *and family -- which are almost one in the same* who listen.  By friends who are spontaneous.  By friends who know just what I need *and when I need it.*  By friends who stand by while I shed yet more tears...tears that seemingly come from nowhere.

Friends from all walks of life.


I found this while searching pinterest for child loss quotes:

I'd say it about sums up life right now.  I know that there isn't another soul who would want to trade shoes with me...or even walk in them for a time.  And honestly, I can't say as I blame them.  I wouldn't want to walk in my shoes either.  And yet...I do.  Daily.  Weekly.  And in some aspects of my life, there are shoes I've been walking in for far longer than I should have.  Years.  This is just a new pair of shoes added on top of the other pair.  A pair on top of a pair if you will.

In all though, my friends have offered a comfortable place to sit along the way...a place to stop, sit and rest...a respite from this journey that I'm on.  And I welcome the rest.  You all are showing me a little Jesus here on earth.  Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

That I am.  That. I. Am.