Just Another Day

So back at the end of May, I ended up at the cemetery to see my baby.  As you can imagine, I sat and sobbed.  There aren't a whole lot of times where I end up at the cemetery and remain dry eyed, even now.  The day I was there, happened to be beautiful and sunny.  My 7yo and I had taken a pinwheel over for Cora prior to that day.  The way the sun was shining and coming through the trees, made me realize that we had made the perfect choice on where she should be.

I snapped this picture:

Later that day, my friend noticed a very interesting thing.  If you look closely at the above picture, you can see it even without what she did for me.  But, she did this:

If you look towards the right arrow, you can see the profile of my sweet Cora.  I find comfort knowing that she's still around me, but it surely doesn't make it any easier.

Today, I'm missing my Cora.  I feel off.  The big girls start school tomorrow.  And I know...it is much needed for all of us.  We have had a good summer.  There were things that I had wanted to do with the girls, but due to circumstances, just weren't able to make them happen.  I'm disappointed, as are the girls.  I am hoping though, that once I'm back to work, we will start doing some 'day trips' on the weekends and do things we've never done before.

And then there's that.  I have felt ready to get back to work.  Until yesterday.  The odd thing is that the kids don't start until next week and this week we're getting the classroom ready and doing last minute things *like getting lesson plans done, etc.*

Of course, there is a host of other personal stuff that is going on that is also playing a part in my panic.  I am rocking in my rocking chair, but it sure isn't going anywhere.  I mean, the worry that I have isn't contributing to life and is just making things increasingly difficult.

So, as I step back into the 'real' world...pray *or send up positive thoughts* that I am able to find enough distraction to make the days go by quickly and that I'm not presented with lots of apologies as the new year begins.