I am angry today. I am angry because I don't have my baby any more. She should be here. I don't want her with Jesus. She should be here with me! Why? Why can't I have her? Did I deserve this? Why her? Doesn't God have enough children in heaven already?
I know she couldn't be mine forever, but couldn't I have had her for quite a bit longer? Maybe graduate from high school or something??
I should be at peace knowing that she is with Jesus and I whispered for her to go to Him, but my selfish self want her back all to myself...to snuggle with, to love on...to smell her clean hair and skin after taking a shower or a bath.
I have been so camped out in denial for the past two months, that the waves of reality have come and gone quickly. But, for the past week, anger pulled in and set up camp. Denial is still lingering in smaller bits, giving me rest from the reality.
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